Hello there!!
Today was a wonderful day and I wanted to share it with you...this the second year in a row that my sister, the boys and C come to my apt and help me decorate for Christmas...They help me do this because my whole living room has to be completely changed in order to get it ready for Christmas dinner, which I host here. My whole family comes and if it is not done just right...we don't all fit for dinner. It is so much fun having them over...it is a time to be together and talk...in these days when we are all so busy..what with school and work...it is very difficult sometimes to just "hang out"...and this affords us the perfect opportunity. Well, thanks to my sister's decorating expertise and every one's hard work...my apt looks amazing and festive...I love the fact that we are creating new traditions and that I can have an impact in my "kids" lives. My sister has always let me be as involved in their lives as time will allow and I really feel that I had a part in their becoming the wonderful young adults that they have become...
Work is still a challenge but I am doing the absolute very best that I can to make it work. Getting along with "different" personalities is not always easy..but I pray and with the grace of God..I get through every day....I believe that in the long run..it will have been worth it!
OK, here is my obstacle right now....eating right has been a real difficulty these last few weeks...I have been going back to a lot of my old ways...I don't know if it is the holidays, stress or just nervous eating...but I have been making some bad choices...not horrible ones like before the surgery..but ones that just indicate that something is wrong..and I don't want to go down the wrong path again...I have postponed my adjustments a couple of times and I don't think that is a good idea...my schedule has just been a nightmare..but I have to get there SOON! I am afraid that if I don't reel myself in that I will end up in the dangerous part of the ocean and once again drown...
There is a ad on TV about the lap band that has a few heavy people say.."if I just have the surgery"....then I can...(and everyone fills in what they want to do that they can't while they are heavy..)...for example: 'if I just have the surgery then I can run and play with my children again...'...I have a problem with that ad because it makes it sound like if you just have the surgery..then everything else just falls into place....THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT...but the joke is on me...HA! It still takes a lot of work, focus, determination and discipline...the weight doesn't just fall off your body....and THAT'S what the ad should say....
Anyway...I am praying for strength and courage to continue the journey...I have a goal of 25lbs by my surgery anniversary date...if I get there...then I will finally reveal my starting weight....that is the one thing that I have not been able to tell anyone....so keep your fingers crossed!!
I have started to go out there and try to meet new people again...my cousin gave me a great website...www.meetup.com...it has helped me meet some people and I will continue doing that...who knows maybe my prince is still out there...he may have a cane or walker..but he could still be out there..."it could still happen"...I truly believe that...I still would like to be married and settled even if it is for the "golden years"...
I am trying very hard to take care of ME...make sure I am healthy, well maintained and as happy as I can be for now...something that I am not used to doing...so send over your good vibes...
Well, that's it for now...
Happy Holidays....and...
CL8 y'all
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I love it! I love that you have begun starting your own traditions. I am sure through the years the guest list will be fluid but you will have a core steady team that always shows.. a Lot like Thanksgiving used to be maybe... :-) I think it is great to have helped make the memories for the 'kids'.. I feel pressured that we as a new family don't really have anything firm yet and we are still trying to find our feet so to speak. I tell myself 'next year' and it just makes me feel like it's one more thing I failed at.. Unlike most people I have a more pessimistic attitude and feel 'what if I don't get a another chance.. what if that was it?' ..anyway.. I felt bad about all the stuff I didn't buy into this year.(no santa pic for C at the mall for one) .It felt kind of surreal to be back in the US for the getting up to as well as actual Christmas.... I guess it will get better..
ReplyDeletebest of luck with your weight/ goal obstacle.. I am going to hopefully do better this coming year as well.. for various reasons.. I find that abstinence is easier than moderation for me.. and that the next meal is your second chance to get back on track..I used to blow off the whole day if I messed up..who am I kidding??
GlAD to hear you are giving meetup a chance.. I know I will have to find new groups when I ever get out to CA for 'good'.. I am so sick of change and feeling up in the air..
awesome attitude of your prince and the future.. It is never too late and don't close yourself off to possible happiness no matter what shape or form or time it comes in.. as long as it's healthy and positive and fun!!
love ya..